Should Parents Go to University Open Days? What's Normal in 2026

If you’re not sure whether you should be going to open days with your child — yes, you almost certainly should, and yes, you’re absolutely the norm.

A generation ago, parents rarely attended. Today, the vast majority of prospective students bring at least one parent or carer. Some bring both. Universities expect it, plan for it, and often run dedicated parent talks alongside the student programme. You’re not being an over-involved parent. You’re being a normal one.

But there’s a difference between attending an open day and taking over an open day — and that’s where parents sometimes get it wrong.

The honest answer: yes, you should go (mostly)

A few reasons it’s genuinely useful:

You spot things they won’t. Accommodation cost, travel logistics, financial aid, the difference between glossy marketing and substance — these are things 17-year-olds frequently miss. Asking “what’s the realistic weekly rent including bills?” is the kind of question your teenager won’t think to ask but you will.

You’ll be paying for some of it. If you’re contributing to accommodation, food, travel home, equipment costs — you have a legitimate stake in understanding the financial picture. Most universities run dedicated finance talks at open days specifically for parents.

You’ll remember different things. They’ll remember the student union and the gym. You’ll remember whether the lecture theatres looked tired and how far the accommodation is from teaching buildings. Both perspectives matter when you debrief in the car on the way home.

They want you there. This surprises a lot of parents. Even teenagers who roll their eyes at the prospect frequently say afterwards that they were glad of the company — particularly at their first open day. Open days can be overwhelming. Having someone to debrief with at lunchtime makes a real difference.

When you probably shouldn’t go

A few situations where staying home is the better call:

• They’ve explicitly asked you not to come. Trust them. Pushing past a clear “I want to go alone” is not the win you think it is.
• It’s the third or fourth time you’re visiting the same university. Diminishing returns. Let them go to the offer holder day with a friend instead.
• You can’t keep your opinions in check. If you can already feel yourself wanting to push them toward one university over another, attending in person can make it worse, not better. You can still be involved without being physically present at every visit.
• You’re worried about looking like the only parent there. You won’t be. At any given university open day, the majority of students are accompanied by at least one parent. Many bring both.

The unspoken rules of parent etiquette

This is where it gets useful. Universities have started gently noting that some parents go too far. A few things to keep in mind:

Let them ask the questions. Especially in subject talks and Q&A sessions. The university staff want to hear from prospective students, not from parents. If you have a question, save it for the parent-specific talks, or ask quietly at the end.

Don’t dominate the conversation with student ambassadors. They’re there for your child. A useful rule: ask one question for every three your child asks. If your child isn’t asking, prompt them quietly — don’t take over.

Don’t sit at the front of subject talks if there’s not enough room. Universities have explicitly asked parents to stand at the back if applicant numbers are high. Be the parent who notices and moves, not the one who has to be asked.

Don’t write notes about everything your child should think. Let them form their own impressions. The most useful debrief happens when you both notice different things and compare.

Don’t push for an answer at the end of the day. “So is this the one?” on the train home is a guaranteed way to make them not pick it. Give it a day or two.

Talks aimed at parents

Most universities now run dedicated parent talks alongside the main student programme. These typically cover:

• Student finance — fees, maintenance loans, parental contribution, repayment terms
• Accommodation — types, costs, application process, what’s guaranteed for first years
• Pastoral care and welfare — mental health support, personal tutors, what to do if your child is struggling
• Term dates and travel home — how often they’ll come home, holidays, halls during vacations
• The transition — what the first few weeks look like, what parents can and can’t do to help

Go to these. They’re genuinely informative and they’re not aimed at your teenager. Most universities timetable them so you can attend the parent finance talk while your child is in their subject tour.

What to ask at an open day as a parent

A few questions worth asking — either in parent talks or quietly to admissions staff:

Money

• What’s the realistic total annual cost — fees, rent, food, books, social — for a student here?
• What bursaries or means-tested support is available, and how do we apply?
• When are rent payments due? Termly or monthly?

Practicalities

• How easy is the journey home — nearest train station, typical journey time, cost?
• What happens during holidays — does my child have to move out, or can they stay in halls?
• How is mail handled? Where do parcels go?

Welfare

• What support is available if my child struggles in their first term — academically, financially, emotionally?
• Who is their first point of contact if there’s a problem?
• What’s the policy on lockouts, lost ID cards, and minor crises?

Their independence

• How much support is provided for students with no family connection to university — first-generation students?
• What’s the personal tutor system, and how often will they actually meet?

Going to multiple open days: when to stop

A reasonable pattern:

• First two or three visits: go with them.
• Middle visits: let them go with a friend or alone if they want to.
• Offer holder day at their firm choice: go with them again (it’s the most useful single visit).

You don’t need to attend every event at every university. Trust them to handle some of it independently — university is, after all, the start of them doing exactly that.

What if they refuse to take you?

A few teenagers — usually those keen to assert independence — will explicitly say they don’t want a parent at any open day. A few thoughts:

• Respect it, but find another way to be involved. Look at the same data they’re looking at. Ask about what they saw. Be available to compare notes.
• Suggest going to the city separately. You can visit the area without setting foot on campus, and meet for lunch.
• Make peace with the fact that going to university is, ultimately, their decision. The most you can do is help them gather good information.

What if you can’t go?

Distance, work, money, family logistics — there are plenty of legitimate reasons parents can’t attend. A few ways to stay involved without being physically present:

• Watch the virtual open day with them.
• Read the same prospectus and discuss specific pages.
• Help them prepare a list of questions to ask before they go.
• Be the person they debrief with afterwards — not the person who tells them what to think.

FAQ